Today I am wearing a pair of new cowboy boots. Brand new – and, at first, almost painfully tight. Now, two hours later, I’m kicking up my heels and feeling quite full of myself.
What does this have to do with personal growth seminars and books?

When I picked out these particular boots, I must have tried on 10 different styles first. I knew what feeling I wanted to have with my new boots – I could see it and feel it clearly. I could picture them in my mind, but I wasn’t seeing them on the shelf.

After about 20 minutes of trying on boots and explaining to the salesman what I wanted to feel, he got the picture. He pulled out a catalog and found exactly what I wanted – Ariat boots (the most comfortable there are), brown distressed leather, and plenty of room for my toes (with still enough point to be sassy). I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect match.

But, alas, they didn’t have any in my size, so I ordered them and went on my merry way, knowing I would get a call in about three weeks. (Those of us who are into boots – or shoes of any sort for that matter – will do whatever it takes to get the exact right pair. If you like cowboy boots, you know what I mean.)

I got the call this morning and ran right out to pick them up.
When I tried them on in the store, just to make sure, my heart sank. They were so tight I could hardly stand it. Surely this wasn’t the right size. The boot salesman – who is famous in these parts – had told me the size to order, so surely it couldn’t be wrong.

That’s when they offered me a solution. I could either wear them around for a week or so to see if they stretched out, or, I could use something called “boot stretch”. Boot stretch is a tool you spray on the boot to help the leather loosen up and stretch quickly. It seems to work like magic. Within two hours the boots were fitting like a pair of the most comfortable shoes you can imagine.

Here’s what I discovered. The boots in my size I had been trying on at the store were all stretched out. Many other people had tried them on and of course the boots were looser. So when I got my new pair, they were a little stiff and awkward in comparison. Sort of like setting a goal, or trying out a new personal growth technique.

You know it has worked for others – they felt great afterwards, and maybe even sustained integrated the shift into their lives. That means they’ve stretched it out in their own lives to get the perfect fit. But that’s the perfect fit for them. If you try on their experience (“boots”), it might feel loose and wonderful, but when you do it for yourself, but you still have to walk around in for awhile to find the right fit for you.

And here’s the other thing. It really is OK to use an aid, or a tool, to help you get where you want. Even if you are a “do it yourself” kind of person, using someone or something else to help you, really is OK. And, of course, it’s OK if something doesn’t fit for you. Not everybody loves cowboy boots, or can get away with wearing them.