Nick Vujicic

I’m not really sure how to introduce this video, other than to say Wow!   

I’ve gone through some tough times over the last 3 years…tough enough that I wasn’t sure how I would get back up after

falling. And then I meet someone like Nick Vujicic.

A picture (or video) really is worth a thousand words.
Or, rather, a video is worth a thousand hopes.

Since I can’t seem to import it, just follow the link: Nick Vujicic.

Do you know who you are? I mean..really know who you are?
If you aren’t sure, take a look at your life and it will tell you exactly who you think you are. Why does that matter? Well, because it also tells you who you will become because it identifies your personal comfort zone.

This video from Tony Robbins (welcome to the world of blogging, Tony!) can help you get real with yourself about who you are, why that matters, and how that can end up sabotaging you.

Tony says “The strongest force in the human personality is the need to remain consistent with our identity.” If that’s true, that means all of our actions (an inactions), conscious or subconscious, are designed to keep us aligned with who we think we are. 

It also means the reason we sabotage ourselves is because we are moving outside our comfort zone. In other words, when things are going really great for you, that’s wonderful – you’re happy and on cloud nine…until it starts to seem like things are going too great…too great for someone like you, that is. Sound familiar?

Who came up with this notion of “too great” anyway? Well, in your case, it would be you. In my case it would be me. It’s almost like having a set-point that we migrate back to, even when we’re telling ourselves we’re getting what we want.

How do you change this? After all, if the desire to remain consistent with our identity is the strongest force, how in the world do you change it?

The first step is to do things you don’t normally do. Take a look at the video for the rest of the clues. Your identity will thank you for it.

Here’s the video, plus other videos worth watching. Enjoy!

Hi everyone,

As promised, here is the information about an upcoming interview you might be interested in. I thought it might be especially interesting to personal growth enthusiasts since we are the ones hiring the professionals and spending hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on workshops, audio and DVD sets, etc.

Bea Fields, well-known author, is conducting a “summer virtual
book tour”, and as part of the tour, she will be interviewing me on the nature of
integrity in business, particularly as it applies to personal growth professionals
and working with Gen Y leaders.

Please join us if you can.

Bridging the Integrity Gap: How Personal Growth Professionals Are
(And Are Not) Leading the Way. What You Need To Know,
With Nina East, Founder of The Association of Personal Growth Professionals.

Date: One Tuesday, August 5 at 1:00 p.m. Eastern

Led by Bea Fields and Nina East, Founder of The Association of Personal
Growth Professionals. http://www.PersonalGrowthProfessionals.com

We are experiencing the rise of conscious capitalism and the power of the values-driven consumer. One might think that these forces would conspire to ensure integrity at the highest leadership levels, particularly in the arena of Personal Growth Professionals.
After all, they are training us to be our best – surely that would include integrity, yes?

Unfortunately what we are seeing, with far too great frequency, are personal growth
and self-help professionals who have not dealt with their own integrity (or integrity gaps), and therefore cannot model (much less, teach) integrity to their readers, clients, and workshop participants. In other words, those who could – and perhaps should – be leading the way, are not. Why is this happening, what does it mean for the personal growth profession, and what do you need to know about integrity and millennial leaders if your business and your community are to thrive long-term?

To register, go here.

I also highly recommend both of Bea’s books.

Millenial Leaders: Success Stories from Today’s Most Brilliant Generation Y Leaders 

and Edge – A Leadership Story.

Hope to “see” you on the call.

This post was written by my good friend, Cheri Britton, from BoomThinking.com and author of BOOM Thinking: The Gutsy Guide for Breaking Out of Old Mindsets. She has a remarkably entertaining writing style…one that grabs you by the arms and pulls you forward until you recognize yourself in her words. I hope you enjoy it – and learn from it – as much as I did!

When You Can’t Shift and It’s Time To Get Off the Pot: Lessons I’ve learned from my Mini-Van

Cheri Britton, www.BoomThinking.com

I’ve just had to replace my transmission.  That meant that I was forced to come up with some moola AND stay home for 3 days.  HURRAH!  I could slow down and do some of that “inner work” and self-care that I’d been meaning to.  The good news?  It only cost me $4289.39!  I hope that you get the sarcasm here.

The truth is my van’s transmission was not the only thing that was slipping out of gear.  For a long time now, I have been running in too high a gear and have been WAY PAST DUE for an overhaul myself.  Not only have I been physically going at speeds that were tearing down my engine, but I was facing some enormous emotions too.  I have been vacillating between immobilizing fear and heart-pounding overwhelm, with periodic bursts of fruitful work sprinkled inbetween.  I’ve known for some time that I’ve been due for “some time up on blocks to take a look at my own engine.” 

Well, sometimes circumstances have a strange and magical way of making us face what we have been trying hard to avoid.  

As I sat in the waiting room of the repair shop contemplating the dent that this new transmission was going to put in my bank account AND feeling stranded with no auto to boot, I felt, on a deep, deep level, that this was a wake-up call. 

So, in that moment, I surrendered.

Well, actually that’s a lie.  In that moment I sobbed and wrung my hands and had a gigantic pity party!

But slowly I began to wake up to what was really happening.  I reached out to friends for support.  I began to consider that this was my opportunity to really take that much needed look under my own hood.  To do some assessment of those fears that had been making me sputter.  To give myself a tune-up. 

It was an awkward, uncoordinated and slightly pathetic surrender…but I surrendered.

So the next day I pulled out my “tool box” (my piles of Self-Help books and journals), flopped down on my comfy bed and started to “work”.  I’d read a while, journal, cry, read some more, make a new sign for my wall, and cry some more.

I’d stop every now an then to watch a movie or putz around on the Internet, but I just kept returning to the bed.  I’d pick up a book and magically turn to a phrase or chapter that reminded me that I could make anything happen that I put my mind to.  I was reminded that the health of the roots predicts the health of the fruit.  My roots had been malnourished for a while.

As I lay there, smack-dab in my fear, no longer rushing to push through it or minimize it, my phone rang with work (and money).  As I held myself through my worries about money and being single and feeling alone, people called to hire me as their coach.

Specically I received word that I would be speaking at the NC Conference for Women in Jan 2009 (something I really wanted) and 2 people signed up for my SOUL-opreneur Series…that very day.  It was like God was rewarding me for taking time for myself. 

Okay, write this down…it’s quite profound.  Avoiding the hard stuff doesn’t make it go away.  Just like pretending that there is plenty of gas in your car when your on empty doesn’t allow you to go farther.  No Duh!

The health of your roots really do determine the quality of your fruits. 

Now don’t get me wrong.  I didn’t like writing a check for $4.289.39.  But I’m thankful I had it.  And I’m not jumping up and down to do more days of deep inner work.  But I’m thankful for the lesson and most thankful that I got it this time.

Pretty odd thought, isn’t it? And I bet your mind doesn’t want to think it, either!

Matthew Ferry, a personal growth professional, describes your mind as being like a drunk monkey – that obnoxious drunk, never stops chattering, always on your back, voice. He also points out that your mind’s only goal is to survive. In other words, your mind’s goal isn’t to make you better, help you achieve, break through old patterns. Instead, your mind’s only function is to help you to survive, and it does this by making sure you don’t do anything too unfamiliar or “scary”.

If that’s the case, your mind isn’t helping you reach your goals, dreams and desires, because, by definition, all of those are located outside what is familiar.

The drunk monkey (your mind) is obsessed with the past. It goes over it again and again and again.
Sound familiar???

Your mind is willing to focus on the past because at least it is familiar (familiar = safe), even if it’s not enjoyable or what you want.

As you’ll see on the video, Matthew says we need to shift from a past-based mindset and begin to operate from the future – that that’s where the inspiration is. It means doing something unfamiliar, uncomfortable – and making it the “new” familiar in the process. Sort of like brown is the new black or 40 is the new 30, maybe “new” is the new “familiar”. Cool, huh?

Watch Matthew’s video and listen to his humorous approach to this pretty significant issue we all face. Then check out his site.  And remember, goals are designed to fix your broken life. What would you focus on to inspire your Great life?

What would happen if you simply used your mind as a tool, rather than thinking of it as “who you are”?

If you are like me (and most other people on the planet), you have many beliefs that serve you well. Beliefs that help you accomplish goals, contribute to others, and guide you in difficult times.

But if you are really like most people, then you also have a whole bag full of beliefs that get in the way and hold you back…otherwise known as “limiting beliefs”.

Most of us know what at least some of our limiting beliefs are, though there are always some we haven’t become aware of. Sometimes our best approach is to focus on the beliefs we know about. The trick is in how to change those limiting beliefs so that they not only don’t get in the way any longer, but also actually transform into beliefs that help us.

I had a personal encounter with this very issue today.

Like you, I’m a personal growth enthusiast, so I’m always seeking new experiences and greater self-understanding. To help with that, I’ve been working with a coach who is helping me look specifically at self-esteem – my self-esteem. I wish I could tell you it has all been fabulous and fast, but it seems that shifting some of those long-held and hidden beliefs can take more than a little bit of nudging and nurturing in order to shift.

My coach and I believe that language plays a significant role in how we make meaning and interpret events. So, at my coach’s suggestion, we were brainstorming phrases/affirmations/incantations I could use to help shift some of the low self-esteem beliefs.

What happened was very interesting, and a tad bit disturbing.

My coach suggested I use the phrase “I’m wonderful just the way I am.”  

Innocent enough. Maybe even inspiring.

It’s certainly a lovely thing to say to oneself, right?

However, what happened for me let me know it wasn’t the phrase for me. As soon as I said “I’m wonderful just the way I am”, another voice inside began pointing out the reasons why that wasn’t always the case.

The purpose of affirmation is to change our default way of thinking – a sort of re-wiring process. The idea is that through repetition, eventually you begin to wear a new groove in your brain, create a new pattern, so that it becomes automatic.

What people sometimes misunderstand, though, is that emotion plays a critical role. Anything you repeat over and over again, in an emotional state, digs a deeper groove. This is true whether it is a positive emotional state or a negative one.

When the other voice in my head started telling me that my affirmation wasn’t true, it was doing so from an emotional place. Like many people raised in the United States, I had stronger emotional connections to “not” being good enough, than to being wonderful.

In other words, this exercise in using language and though repetition in order to gradually open up a new perspective, was actually having the reverse effect. Each time I said the affirmation, I also ran through a litany of anti-affirmations.

This experience reminded me of one of my clients.

My client had a habit of saying “I don’t know” whenever I asked her something about herself. She realized she did this, and knew from her own study of personal growth, that the more she said it, the more it would always be true for her. Obviously we needed to come up with a sentence to replace the habitual “I don’t know.”   

Together we came up with the phrase “I’m figuring it out.”

At first we thought this was a strong replacement. It didn’t have the same doubt or negativity of “I don’t know”, and it left things open to possibility. It also gave her permission to “not know”.

But after a few trials of it, she realized that she was coming up with negative responses. She realized she just simply didn’t believe she was figuring it out.

So we needed to back up and design a phrase that was believable, but also made room for possibility, as well as making it OK if she didn’t know quite yet.

The phrase she landed on was “I might be figuring it out.”

The words “I might” were exactly what she needed to make it believable. After all, there was always the chance that she might be figuring it out.

After a week of “I might be figuring it out”, she was able to transition to a slightly more empowering statement – “I am figuring it out most of the time.” And eventually she believed that she was figuring it out.

By stair stepping her affirmations, making sure she could absolutely believe what she was saying, she was able to shift her thoughts, and ultimately her behavior and her results.

In case you’re wondering what new affirmation I came up with, here it is:

“It’s healthy to believe I’m wonderful just the way I am.”

Silly study in semantics? Perhaps.
Negative consequences? Not a one.

I can totally believe it, and I know that soon it will make way for the next stair step.

A good friend of mine, Dr. Eric Schneider, just sent me this video. I was so impressed, I had to share it.

It is a huge reminder about what we can do, if only we will stop thinking about why we can’t.

Enjoy!

Who couldn’t use a big bowl of self esteem? It’s the perfect gift for the personal growth enthusiast! 

Last Christmas my wise-beyond-their-years cousins gave me just that, a big bowl of self-esteem. It’s labeled as a cereal bowl, but truthfully, it’s quite large. Maybe a cereal bowl for a linebacker. <g>

On the outside it says “Big Bowl of Self-Esteem”, and on the inside are a bunch of positive statements. Such a FUN way to start the day. When I searched online to send one to a friend of mine, I also ran across other bowls – more great inspirations for the personal growth enthusiast!

There’s the You’re a Goddess cereal bowl with spots on the outside and statements worthy of a goddess inside.
There’s the You Rule cereal bowl – similar to the goddess bowl, only without the goddess-like language.
And the Archetype cereal bowl, with a distinctive Diva flair.
And, of course, what collection wouldn’t be complete without the Chicks Dig You and the  You The Man cereal bowls?

[All these links are through Kaboodle.com, so if any of the links get broken, just go to Kaboodle.]  

Enjoy your big bowl of whatever!

The power of Choice. Saying “I choose not to…” has a different energy than “I can’t afford to…” Using the word choice puts several things into action. 

Choice empowers you, consciously and subconsciously. The meta-message is that you could choose differently. You may not hear this at the conscious level, but at the subconscious level, you do. This is how meta-programming works. You know, like the metatags on a website. You don’t see them when you look at a website, but they are there in the background making sure the site comes up for people (on search engines) whenever they put in certain requests or search terms. Your mind works the same way. It’s like embedding a metatag that allows that reality to come up whenever you put in the terms – what you are looking for.  

Acknowledging Choice is being honest with yourself. We like to fool ourselves into thinking we don’t actually have choices, that some things we HAVE to do. The truth is that you really do have a choice. The choice may have consequences – even dramatic ones – but you are still choosing which consequences or results to have. Often you are choosing what appears to be the least painful, at least in the short run.

To tell yourself anything less is to put yourself in the role of victim – which, again, is a role you choose.

By not doing something you know would improve your life or your business you are, in fact, choosing to have your life or business remain the way it is. I know, this isn’t always pretty to look at, but if you choose to look at it for what it really is, the honesty will lead you toward a different choice. Sometimes that’s just what we need in order to make the shift. 

Choice raises your vibration. By this I mean it makes you more of a match for what you DO want. Whatever you focus on is what you get more of.

Whether you want to define this as a metaphysical law, or the functioning of the human brain, the truth is that what you concentrate on is what you will notice more of. And the more you notice it, the more you are actually gathering evidence – data, even – that proves you are right.

For example, if you habitually say, “I can’t afford to do XYZ” or “I don’t have the money for ABC.” you will constantly be noticing how you cannot afford to do the things you want or need to do. It is a bit of a catch-22. The more you say it, the more you notice it, and the more you notice it, the more “proof” you have that it is true, so the more you feel justified in saying it. The more you will use the data to explain to yourself and others why your life isn’t working. People explain this by saying they are just looking at the reality of their situation. 

But here’s the deal. If you start saying “I choose to…” or “I choose not to….”, you will, instead, begin noticing the choices you are actually making. You will notice more and more how much choice you actually do have, as well as the various results from those choices.  

And, ultimately, you will begin choosing in ways that serve you better. Once you start using the phrase “I choose” – and make a habit of it – the more you start noticing the choices you have, the choices you are making. This is the evidence or proof that you actually are choosing, which leads you to believe you really DO have choice. 

The beauty of it is that you don’t actually have to believe it at first. You just have to start saying it and you will automatically begin gathering data, which will, in turn, prove the belief.
Life is about living.

Today I choose to experience the joy and wonder of my own existence.  

What do you choose for today?

Today I am wearing a pair of new cowboy boots. Brand new – and, at first, almost painfully tight. Now, two hours later, I’m kicking up my heels and feeling quite full of myself.
What does this have to do with personal growth seminars and books?

When I picked out these particular boots, I must have tried on 10 different styles first. I knew what feeling I wanted to have with my new boots – I could see it and feel it clearly. I could picture them in my mind, but I wasn’t seeing them on the shelf.

After about 20 minutes of trying on boots and explaining to the salesman what I wanted to feel, he got the picture. He pulled out a catalog and found exactly what I wanted – Ariat boots (the most comfortable there are), brown distressed leather, and plenty of room for my toes (with still enough point to be sassy). I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect match.

But, alas, they didn’t have any in my size, so I ordered them and went on my merry way, knowing I would get a call in about three weeks. (Those of us who are into boots – or shoes of any sort for that matter – will do whatever it takes to get the exact right pair. If you like cowboy boots, you know what I mean.)

I got the call this morning and ran right out to pick them up.
When I tried them on in the store, just to make sure, my heart sank. They were so tight I could hardly stand it. Surely this wasn’t the right size. The boot salesman – who is famous in these parts – had told me the size to order, so surely it couldn’t be wrong.

That’s when they offered me a solution. I could either wear them around for a week or so to see if they stretched out, or, I could use something called “boot stretch”. Boot stretch is a tool you spray on the boot to help the leather loosen up and stretch quickly. It seems to work like magic. Within two hours the boots were fitting like a pair of the most comfortable shoes you can imagine.

Here’s what I discovered. The boots in my size I had been trying on at the store were all stretched out. Many other people had tried them on and of course the boots were looser. So when I got my new pair, they were a little stiff and awkward in comparison. Sort of like setting a goal, or trying out a new personal growth technique.

You know it has worked for others – they felt great afterwards, and maybe even sustained integrated the shift into their lives. That means they’ve stretched it out in their own lives to get the perfect fit. But that’s the perfect fit for them. If you try on their experience (“boots”), it might feel loose and wonderful, but when you do it for yourself, but you still have to walk around in for awhile to find the right fit for you.

And here’s the other thing. It really is OK to use an aid, or a tool, to help you get where you want. Even if you are a “do it yourself” kind of person, using someone or something else to help you, really is OK. And, of course, it’s OK if something doesn’t fit for you. Not everybody loves cowboy boots, or can get away with wearing them.